i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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