I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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