so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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