If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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