Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize