I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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