Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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