id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just googled if crying burns calories
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They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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