I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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