Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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