Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
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