WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
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I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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