goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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