i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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