he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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