I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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