I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize