Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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