It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize