found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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