i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize