After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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