I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize