well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
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I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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