I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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