you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I wear drunk well.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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