Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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