No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize