yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my poor anus
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize