I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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