She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize