oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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