3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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