I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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