I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize