If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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