i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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