On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
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please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
His nipple licking is glorious
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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