Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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