He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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