good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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