I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize