She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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