Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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