i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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