if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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