the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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