hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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