Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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