come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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